FiREnZe

...This is what I was writing while I was there...

Now I know how people wake up like 'How the fuqh did I get here?' That's not really the question I have though... it's more like how did I end up not where I logically would be in terms of action. He did it again... but will He continue? Shall I continue to push His limits merely relying on the fact that He is GOD all powerful and ignoring the good sense and foresight He gives me. But did I forsee this? NO. I was blindsided by this, an innocent house tour lead to much more... this is what's real. As much as I have been running away lately from all that God's made me I can't deny the change He's made in me in one particular area of my life, it's indelible... apparently written into my being. While 'fun' has been the goal of my life recently there are certain parameters I just can't cross. That's really amazing.

. . . t i m e . e l a p s e s . . .

So now I have a decision to make, leave in the car provided, find and wake up friend... Do I keep in touch or back off? Beautiful mind, intriguing... wasn't the vodka in me that was feeling the convo. Matter of fact it didn't affect me like I thought it might. I can for once say I've been truly intrigued. It's been a mad long time... well maybe not long, but I know I'm not easily phased so what's different here? A lot's different but does that make it legitimate. A sleeping countenance is all the more endearing whilst I make this decision. Seeing how my life has been 'do or die' lately even the smallest decision has bearing... or maybe it always did and I'm just noticing now. Attracted to how you think, what you say? Perhaps I choose to see this too deeply, as more than slightly intoxicated conversation... it was intoxicating... but that could have been me being interested in hearing more than just the 'same old, same old' about day-to-day things. Tired of pondering the surface with others I seek spirituality.... not some new age stuff though. I value intimacy between hearts, thoughts and minds over intimacy of a physical nature. I pray I'll always be this way.

(and now back to work on my no hrs of sleep... I think that one of my coworkers will relieve me at 3pm before I absolutely DIE up in here.)