Wow, after re-calculating stuff. I figured out that I need 39 more hours to graduate. Three of those hours will be taken up by my Senior Thesis, so I need 36 course hours. That means that I will probably take 12 hours this summer, 12 in the Fall and 12 next Spring...or am I really trying to graduate next Spring? I mean is that really necessary. I guess it depends on what I take this summer and if some of the classes are half of summer semester because please believe I am not trying to be stressed out like I was this summer. It was good though that one of my classes was only for half of the summer semester. I don't know. Oh yeah, also I'm going to have to pay for 5 of my last 39 hours. Shoooot, I'm not even going to complain I could be from outta state and HOPEless. Thank you LOrd. I can finally see the end of the dark tunnel that is Georgia Tech academia. Amen.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Forget about the book. Who moved MY Cheese?
I am so tired of school right now. I guess I only liked school because I used to be good at it. Well, now that I'm no longer good at it I don't want to be here anymore. No, I just want to rise to the occasion and make As again. It doesn't feel good to be drowning in Psychology and Biology. A good metaphor: It's like the mouse who learns the experimental maze by finding the cheese and their cheese gets moved but the mouse keeps trying to get to it the same way. I guess I'm officially in college now huh? Someone has moved my flippin' cheese(for Napoleon Dynamite Lovers) and I am upset...ARGGH life is so frustrating, BUT God is Still and will always be GOOD. :o)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Today sucks...
Today sucks...but at least I'm getting my hair done tomorrow even if that means I have to leave poetry class significantly early. My hair is more important than that class at this point. If you couldn't tell, I am having a bad day. The sun is shining but my face is not. There is just too much to do, so little time. If I don't get it together now my GPA is really going to plummet and we simply can have that because I intend to go to grad school after all of this. Oh well though. Enough of my griping. My chill hour is over. It's time to get back in the game. Ciao!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
the game of LOVE
What is this thing called dating? I'm not going to ask what love is, because I already know what that is. The question is how do I, Crystal, show it? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Statistically I think around this time, heading into the spring and summer is breakup season. I refuse to become a statistic if I feel like we have something here. Don't you be a statistic either. College and dating are hard enough by themselves, so if you've got something good, hang in there. Now don't hang in there if the two of you are on different spiritual tracks because that can't be good. Actually it isn't good because the Bible speaks on it: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" ~2 Corinthians 6:14. But yeah. Have you ever wondered whether you were dating your person simply for your gratification or if you actually cared about the person? Well a good question to ask yourself is this: "Would your loved one's Mom be proud that you were dating her son or daughter?" Ok, so this journal felt a little bit like a magazine column, a poorly written one. I'm sorry about that. I hope I made you think though. Toodles! :o)
Friday, March 11, 2005
my Sistahs
Yeah, so today/tonight was the first time in a long time I have spent an extended amount of time with a few of my homegirls. I am no longer In Search of Sisterhood because I realize that I already have it. I have had it for a long time actually. I mean tonight wasn't the first time I spent time with my girls in a while because there is the small group, but 1 to 3 hours of time is not really enough time once a week to really pick back up where you left off. But yeah, I had fun just spending time with my girls. I never do that anymore, but that's going to change.
I've just done a lot of soul searching and I realize that some things are just not for me, but I've already written a journal about this, so I'll get off of my soap box. I just wanted to say that today was really nice. :o)
If You Want Me To
This is how I feel right now. I'm just going through some thangs right now so this song expresses my feelings.
"If You Want Me To"
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
Im gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to
Cause Im not who I was
When I took my first step
And Im clinging to the promise
Youre not through with me yet
So if all of these trials
Bring me closer to you
Then I will go through fire if you want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world thats not my home
but you never said it would be easy
you only said Id never go alone
you oooh oh.
so when the whole world turns against me
and Im all by myself
and I cant hear you answer my cries for help
Ill remember the sufferin your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.
~Ginny Owens
Tuesday, March 8, 2005
The Dad Crisis/ deFlowering
I'm just reserving ths portion of my EJ for a poem about some things that have been on my heart recently.
Monday, March 7, 2005
tRiPpiN
Ok, so I'm not really trippin and trying to revert back to old habits. I'm just being tempted and tested, well that's good to know because I was worried there for a moment. I guess I'm not crazy after all. What a blessing that is. Well, it's really late now. I stayed up all last night and went to bed at 7:30 in the morning so maybe I should try to get some sleep tonight as my mind and body prepare to get back on the grind. Good night!!!
Friday, March 4, 2005
Tonight
We went to watch The Terminal with Prov tonight. It woulda been a lot better had The Terminal not been so slow, but I did think it was a cute movie concept. Sean fell asleep because he was so tired. He missed ALL of the action. Oh well. I got to see my bro today. No, not my biological brother Carlos. I saw DJ. Das my boi. He's so cool. We go way back. I was really nice getting to see and talk to him in person. I was glad that he and Sean got the chance to meet and what not.
One thing God's been showing me...
I have been asking Him to point out my flaws and un-jesuslike qualities. The one God's been focusing on showing me is PRIDE. The way He shows it to me is in terms of my relationship. I am so slow to admit that I'm wrong and so quick to try to defend and argue my actions. I don't like to be made out as a bad person. Nobody does. What I fail to realize time and time again until after the fact is that if I would just admit I'm wrong in the first place instead of trying to protect my image things would pan out smoothly. That thing that urges me to protect myself and try to maintain my image as a "perfect" person is PRIDE. I have a big problem with that, and if I don't strive for humility, I will continue to be humbled. Actually, I will be humbled anyway, but it may be slightly less painful if I go down willingly. So that's where I am right now. I'm sure there is an infinite number of things wrong with me in addition to that, but it feels like that is the focus. It kinda sucks, but at least God sees me the way He knows I can be through Jesus. Thank Him for that.
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
21 (cont'd)
Yeah so tonight (even though I'm writing this a few days later) Sean took me to see Hitch. I thought I was just going to be me and him but when we got to the box office, Leslie was there, so that surprised me and then as the movie was about to start, Micah showed up so that was cool. It was nice to share my birthday with my sweetie and two of my good friends. Hitch was hilarious. I really enjoyed it. I wasn't prepared to laugh so much. After the movie was over, Sean and I grabbed some food and chilled for a bit. All in all, I had a pretty good birthday. The only thing missing was my family. I missed them a lot actually.
I haven't figured out yet what 21 is supposed to look like. I guess by the time I'm about 22 I'll know...lol
Thank You God for 21 years full of blessings and provisions!
I haven't figured out yet what 21 is supposed to look like. I guess by the time I'm about 22 I'll know...lol
Thank You God for 21 years full of blessings and provisions!
21
Yeah, so I'm 21 today. Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes and what not. That was sweet of y'all. I feel so loved. Hmm, 21... Well so far today has kind of dragged on, with the exception of smiling faces and friends telling me Happy Birthday and all. I was really tired. I skipped BIO to do some work this morning, then I went to my other 2 back-to-back classes. Psychology was actually interesting today, but I was entirely too sleepy to enjoy it. On the other hand, media class was so boring it was like watching paint dry and I was sleepy on top of that so I seriously thought I was going to die before making it out of there. Clara (my teacher) is really nice, but sometimes the stuff we talk about in that class just isn't interesting to most of us...but I have to go now. Sean's picking me up to take me out on my birthday. I'll continue this.
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