My life's recent trend has been that I have been in the company of quite a few different guys, and randomly. While it has been fun being pursued and adored (a lil bit), I still know at the end of the day I have nothin substansial in the case for romance. What I once thought I had is now gone and my heart is forever in search of something like it, something better than it, something to replace it... but maybe it is for this one thing that God places this bubble around me in the sense that there are lines I can't allow myself to cross. When situations become a little too heavy for me mentally, He takes them away. That's why He's winning this tug of war. My flesh cries out, "Lord, I want a man!" and my spirit cries, "Lord I want a strong man of God, the man you designed for me in Your purpose for my life, a man that loves me with all his heart!" I guess in order for me to not completely fudge the prospect of that man, MY man... God has placed me in a bit of a straight jacket... which sucks, but at the same time I am quite grateful for it. It almost seems like I've either met the man, or our paths will cross soon... I may be imagining things, but I keep feeling like I have much coming my way in the near future, not necessarily bad stuff, but things are going to take a turn in another direction... [kinda like Ga State called me today as I was thinking about graduate school. YES, they called me today and told me I was an excellent candidate for their School Psychology Ed.S. program. Apparently an Ed.S is almost like being ABD (all but dissertation) so I will probably go ahead and work on getting my Ph.D too. I don't know how long this program will take me to complete, but it feels like this is what God purposes for me.]
But yeah I feel something brewing and coming this way soon. God has great things in store for me, but I must decide to yeild to Him and no longer let mySELF be the master. I don't even have the willpower to not go to marble slab and pay $5 for ice cream... speaking of which, I was randomly treated to ice cream today. Nice dude, but not a man of God, sigh. Oh God, where is he?! Please bring me him so I can stop just hanging out here manless and without affection.
No comments:
Post a Comment