surrounded and alone

Let's recap this... there I was looking fabulous and I showed up with my roomate and her boyfriend. I felt a bit like a charity case. Why was I showing up essentially alone? Are my pickiness of who I spend time with and my uneasiness with being alone fighting with each other? I felt so alone it was ridiculous. Even with knowing most of the people there, I felt like an outsider. I guess part of it was my dislike of small talk. I kept thinking, I don't usually spend much time during the week talking to these people, so why strike up a conversation about the weather now. I'm socially crippled when it comes to big events like that. I claim to like people, but mostly in one-on-one sitauations. I was near tears pretty much the whole time I was there. The only times I had a tiny bit of fun were when I was eating my overloaded saucer of food and then doing the electric slide and one other dance with my roomie. After dancing I sat by my young guy friend and I was bored to tears and felt really lame, kinda wanted to dance, but I don't dance by myself... when I'm around a lot of people. Victoria called me and rescued me from my pathetic situation and I went all the way outside (like on North Ave.) to talk to her. After that I went inside and collected my coat and just ran off like Cinderella.