The daffodil I picked for myself last night is dead now, but at least I was able to have it for a while in its prime. I've decided that I love daffodils... just like my mommy. I refuse to settle... Anyways, here is a conversation just 'cause:
c r y s s LOVE (12:58:39 AM): i've realized i'm too prideful to cry around people
c r y s s LOVE (12:58:48 AM): i am mad i jus figured that out
a friend (12:58:52 AM): lol
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:02 AM): i feel like i gotta be strong for erybody else
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:14 AM): except for my family
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:18 AM): and sean
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:20 AM): awww
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:35 AM): i guess i feel like i have no reason to cry
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:38 AM): but i do hurt
c r y s s LOVE (12:59:50 AM): i have to acknowledge that and let it be acknowledged
c r y s s LOVE (1:02:12 AM): i've always been allowed to cry and rarely ridiculed for it, so i dont kno why i'm like this
c r y s s LOVE (1:03:44 AM): i've had like the happiest, most carefree life
Maybe I'm just looking at my life through rose colored glasses trying to ignore the pain that I've felt and feel at times. I obviously need God, so it's not like things can be perfect without Him. How can I cry for myself when I see a lady sitting on the sidewalk on North Avenue in 20 degree weather? I hear too much about what other people go through for me to even really be able to allow myself to call whatever I'm going through a 'struggle'. I've never known poverty or sexual assault or a strained relationship with my parents or siblings.I certainly don't want to know those things either... ah well. I should read now.
Posted on 2.17.2006 at 1:41 AM
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