A H.A.I.R. Journey - Part 4

The Revealing

After all of that, I still hadn’t “met” my natural hair, if you will. I was still yet to see what I looked like with a short, all-over natural coif. I waited a few days, but after shooting the short film I found myself rushing to the shower with the shampoo. I had to see it. I stepped out of the shower, looked into the foggy mirror…. Eww, was that it? My goodness, I felt I looked like a boy and made plans to go earring shopping the next day. Actually not really, but I did shop for hair accessories…and still do. I figured that the hair accessories would be more affective if I blow-dry my hair upon washing, so I did that for a week. Then I realized that I didn’t want to be blow-drying my hair, too much heat. I went natural to get away from heat a bit. So, I figured I could achieve similar results if I put a scarf around the crown of my head while my hair is still wet. Styling it gets better as my hair grows too. I am now thankful that it grows fast. My mother thought it was really cute and suited my personality quite well, like it was more “me.”. My baby sister wasn’t feeling it too much. My friends were nice and said it was cute, but I know they were hoping that I would learn quickly how to style it, get it under control. A lot of guys who had never said anything to me before told me they liked my hair. Guys with dreadlocks and Afros began to acknowledge me as a fellow “nappy sister.” I felt like I had stepped into another community, which was cool. I had initially planned to cut my hair in March because I wanted to have relaxed-looking hair at the Onyx Ball, but after plans changed I decided I’d get it straightened to a pixie cut. I had even bought this ultra-conservative-looking dress. When my mom saw the dress after I told her I had decided I wasn’t getting my hair straightened (I didn’t want to dry it out and disrupt the natural coil), she dragged me out to find a more suitable dress for my hair. I also freaked out and set an appointment to get two-strand twists, which I found out (at the place I was going) were going to cost me at least $65, minus tip and all that, so I decided to twist them myself and do my own twist out. I think it worked. I was pleased with it anyway.


Adversity

Around this same time, my mom and I were discussing with my (step) dad what color I’d dye my hair (I was excited as I had never experimented with hair colors before, hair was too weak).

Mom: “Dad, what color should Crystal die her hair?
Dad: “The color of a perm. Whatever color a perm is!”
Me: “Dang, Dad”
Mom: “Lester!”

My dad was then, and is now still, quite salty with my natural hair, no matter how I have it done and I have to be ok with that. Just like he doesn’t like it, there are guys who routinely make it their business to ask my why I cut all my hair off and tell me that they liked my hair (or me) better the other way. “I like long hair.” “What was wrong with the relaxer? Your hair was long.” “I just don’t understand.” As much as I try to be considerate and receptive of other’s opinions, I hate to have to say it, but this doesn’t have anything to do with any of you, male or female. My boss isn’t a big fan of my hair either, but that’s just it, it’s MY hair. I wear it. It’s a reflection of me, not anyone else, so I’ll choose how I use it as a vehicle of self-expression; besides, I’m the one who has to care for it. I like it how it is, and while compliments are nice, appreciated, and welcomed, they are not necessary and do not determine how I feel about my God-given hair. As a matter of fact, the only issue I have with my hair as-is is that it’s not growing fast enough for me. I miss having a lot of hair.

Looking Forward...

As far as securing a dude, I’m not interested in a guy that is unable to find me attractive with my hair like this or relaxed. This is me. I can finally say that this really is me. Like my mother said, my hair being natural flows directly into my personality. Now that my hair and I are in harmony (for lack of a better description) I’m holding my head high with a confidence I never quite had before (outside of the 2-week-long ‘fresh perm’ period). Making the final decision to ‘go natural’ is the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time. I absolutely love my hair, and I’m excited to see what it will grow into.