Epiphany
Contrary to what may be the popular belief I did NOT chop my relaxed hair off under the influence of India Arie’s song “I Am Not My Hair.” I was thinking about it long before she came out with that song. As a matter of fact, not to discredit India Arie, but anyone who actually knows me knows that I actually hate that song. I mean I like the message for the most part, but I was never feeling the music production side of it. Also, it’s cool that she realized that her hair didn’t factor much into who she was, who we are as people and all….but I’ve always been an advocate for a full, healthy head of hair… a glorious mane, if you will, for a woman. I never wanted to be bald, or semi-bald or whatever by choice. Obviously baldness due to illness is beyond one’s control, but I wasn’t trying to visit my infant hairdo on purpose. Heck naw. God gave me hair as a covering (1 Corinthians 11:15). That’s just it though, THIS hair….this thick nappy hair that some call “bad” hair. That was the realization I came to that day in July when I had the epiphany to begin the naturalizing process. Why was I fighting my natural, God-given hair? Why was I allowing myself to get stressed out about it? Maybe it was something that I personally wasn’t supposed to continue doing, for my peace of mind. Now in saying that I’m not criticizing the relaxer, or people who continue to wear the relaxer (my mother and sisters still do, actually my entire family immediate and extended… I’m the weirdo). I’m not even saying that I will never get my hair relaxed again. I’m just saying that a relaxer wasn’t for me in that moment and it isn’t now. I had reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t even be acceptably cute without a fresh relaxer. It was time for me to see (more like learn to see) the beauty in the hair God formed me with. That’s why I decided to begin the natural journey.
Breaking the News to Dad
The next thing to do was to break the news to my gracious hair benefactor, my (step) dad. This man has been paying for me to get my hair done since he married my mother when I was 6, so, needless to say, he’s spent tons of money on my hair. He was quite upset when I told him I was going natural. I think I may have come across as militant in my reasoning. I said something like, “I’m tired of subscribing to the European standard of beauty. I’m going to take an honest look at the hair God gave me.” That infuriated him. He probably said I was crazy and reminded me that he had spent a mint on my hair over the years and that my hair was pretty the way it was. He was mad (and still is a little) with me, but after he calmed down he all but had me promise that I would wear my hair in such a way that I could still wash and comb it… basically, he was trying to ensure that I would not be coming up in the house with dreadlocks, and that was ok with me, reasonable middle ground. I’m not going to lie though. I had considered dreadlocks, but I REALLY, honestly love combing my hair. I always have enjoyed the sensation of a comb through my hair. I also had to promise that I would wear my relaxed hair as long as possible while waiting for my natural hair to reach a ‘feminine’ length. We went over the bible verse I mentioned earlier about a woman’s hair being her covering. My mom was supportive, but she always is. She said I’d be cute either way. I can always count on mommy, but I’m sure she was a little worried about what I planned to ‘do with it’, because while I was going through the process, she kept asking me “So what are you going to do with it when it’s out?” I kept telling her I wasn’t sure. Unless it’s life, death, or financial stability I generally don’t do heavy planning. I try to go with the flow on things that aren’t so crucial.
Contrary to what may be the popular belief I did NOT chop my relaxed hair off under the influence of India Arie’s song “I Am Not My Hair.” I was thinking about it long before she came out with that song. As a matter of fact, not to discredit India Arie, but anyone who actually knows me knows that I actually hate that song. I mean I like the message for the most part, but I was never feeling the music production side of it. Also, it’s cool that she realized that her hair didn’t factor much into who she was, who we are as people and all….but I’ve always been an advocate for a full, healthy head of hair… a glorious mane, if you will, for a woman. I never wanted to be bald, or semi-bald or whatever by choice. Obviously baldness due to illness is beyond one’s control, but I wasn’t trying to visit my infant hairdo on purpose. Heck naw. God gave me hair as a covering (1 Corinthians 11:15). That’s just it though, THIS hair….this thick nappy hair that some call “bad” hair. That was the realization I came to that day in July when I had the epiphany to begin the naturalizing process. Why was I fighting my natural, God-given hair? Why was I allowing myself to get stressed out about it? Maybe it was something that I personally wasn’t supposed to continue doing, for my peace of mind. Now in saying that I’m not criticizing the relaxer, or people who continue to wear the relaxer (my mother and sisters still do, actually my entire family immediate and extended… I’m the weirdo). I’m not even saying that I will never get my hair relaxed again. I’m just saying that a relaxer wasn’t for me in that moment and it isn’t now. I had reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t even be acceptably cute without a fresh relaxer. It was time for me to see (more like learn to see) the beauty in the hair God formed me with. That’s why I decided to begin the natural journey.
Breaking the News to Dad
The next thing to do was to break the news to my gracious hair benefactor, my (step) dad. This man has been paying for me to get my hair done since he married my mother when I was 6, so, needless to say, he’s spent tons of money on my hair. He was quite upset when I told him I was going natural. I think I may have come across as militant in my reasoning. I said something like, “I’m tired of subscribing to the European standard of beauty. I’m going to take an honest look at the hair God gave me.” That infuriated him. He probably said I was crazy and reminded me that he had spent a mint on my hair over the years and that my hair was pretty the way it was. He was mad (and still is a little) with me, but after he calmed down he all but had me promise that I would wear my hair in such a way that I could still wash and comb it… basically, he was trying to ensure that I would not be coming up in the house with dreadlocks, and that was ok with me, reasonable middle ground. I’m not going to lie though. I had considered dreadlocks, but I REALLY, honestly love combing my hair. I always have enjoyed the sensation of a comb through my hair. I also had to promise that I would wear my relaxed hair as long as possible while waiting for my natural hair to reach a ‘feminine’ length. We went over the bible verse I mentioned earlier about a woman’s hair being her covering. My mom was supportive, but she always is. She said I’d be cute either way. I can always count on mommy, but I’m sure she was a little worried about what I planned to ‘do with it’, because while I was going through the process, she kept asking me “So what are you going to do with it when it’s out?” I kept telling her I wasn’t sure. Unless it’s life, death, or financial stability I generally don’t do heavy planning. I try to go with the flow on things that aren’t so crucial.
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