Writer's cramps

I have stuff to write about, but I can't or don't want to write about it. It's weird...?? It's just not what I'm interested in. I will tell you this though...

I went to church today and the message was on managing your emotions. I guess I needed to hear it. I'm usually quite in touch with what I feel but I tend to be ruled by emotions at times which makes me unpredictable in a bad way... so I was definitely in tune to that part of the message. At the end Mrs. Keitt asked anyone who felt like they were just straight up emotionally spent to stand so she could pray for them. For a second I was like, "That's me" but after thinking about it I was like, naw you're trippin because you're ok. That would have been me a few months ago but God is really doing a lot over here. I have my sad moments, but I'm fully aware of Gods in-controlness. It's just that at this particular moment I'm having difficulty being patient in watchin his plan for my life unfold because, let's face it, most of us have our own plans for how our lives should go so when God starts freestyling (from our point of view) it's like huh? and then it gets really frustrating because stuff you're wanting to happen doesn't happen or it takes a while longer to happen and it's happening all around you. At the same time you keep trying to remind yourself that God has your best interest at heart and he's not going to let you down. Actually what He has planned for your life is so much greater than you could fathom... but it's hard to prevent your humanity from getting in the way of your having peace about what's going on in your life when you think that more should be happening than what actually is. To let God have it all is actually radical thought, because doesn't society kinda teach us that we have to pretty much be control freaks and have our own backs at all times? So here many of us are strugglin, trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle and the making ends meet of every day life instead of focusing on what's real, what's eternal, what's meaningful... Jesus. I'm working on shifting my focus and prioritizing accurately, but its a process... well I'm going to grade papers or something now. I'm glad I don't have to teach at 8am tomorrow tho, YES! I'm sooo sleeping in until 11am when I tutor, but ok... ciao.
Posted on 7.24.2006 at 12:40 AM