(phrases from my more personal journal. i apologize if it reads like jibberish to you)
...for me it's this unilateral conversation, with each question unacknowledged and unanswered... reaching for closure, for something that won't be granted to me. . . How is it that You can watch as the sword is twisted and digs deeper into my core? I want to be normal again, whatever that is. Maybe normalcy was the problem. I (once) lead a normal life full of normal hurts, normal joys and normal relationships... but I don't think You're really understanding the situation here... I've been feeling like an island and I'm scared to open up to anyone else because I'm afraid... I'm afraid that I'll lose them in the same way... so I just stay bottled up and up and fizzed. Please don't shake things up anymore. Be my confidant. How can I confide in you and be comforted if I don't feel you there. I really need You to show Yourself to me before I fall completely to pieces. This smile is an unstable charade.
Posted on 7.7.2006 at 11:43 AM
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