I'm like a newborn for a couple of reasons

I don't sleep completely through the night. I get in the bed around 11:30pm, I wake up at 3:00am.... I get in bed at 1 or 2am and I'm awake by 4 or 5am. I prayed to no longer have the ability to sleep ALL day, but I wasn't talking about not sleeping at all. The morning IS nice though, and I haven't been acquainted with it during the past 4 years. With this waking up thing being the new routine, I get up and do research on scholarships and other monies for the upcoming year. I'm pretty sure I should be reading the Word or something as well, or most importantly. I'll get there. I'll start today... after this entry. Part of my not sleeping could be that I'm stressed as HECK right now. I've started getting migraines. That started this previous school year, but now I'm able to put a finger on it. I don't know how to live with so much uncertainty. I guess this is me struggling... or on the brink of it. I was wondering when my first real adult struggle was going to come, and I'm thinking here it is. God is like, "You been chillin long enough thinkin you don't need me or that I won't provide, so man up your faith now because you're about to need it." I can't afford to sink in this endeavor. So much is riding on the next 3 to 5 years of my life. My parents are headed for financial hardship to help provide for me until I can do better for myself... AHHH!... and I'm at home now feeling trapped. Part of my feeling trapped-ness is that I have little financial power right now and that's tripping me out. My job for July may have been given away as well. I had to drop the whole heartbroken thing, get a grip and face the issues at hand. I don't have time to be thinking I'm sad about other facets of my life when I'm moving into an apartment with little more than a sleeping bag and my tv. I'm wondering how am I going to live alone in a place that's nothing like a living space. I thank God for the means for even getting a nice place like it, but I'm not going to want to stay there until I at least get my bedroom furnished.... ok, enough whining for me. I'ma pull out my Bible now and seek encouragement and pray while I'm at it.
Posted on 6.6.2006 at 7:08 AM