in a quiet space (earlier today...posted late)

this is stuff i wrote down in my personal journal earlier today during my lunch break from all the housing-ness.

"...today I'll trust you with the confidence of a man who's never known to fear."
(not my writing...it's from "Let It All Out" by Relient K)

i wrote this though...just something that's been on my heart

transform me o God
yield my gifts You've given me
to Your good use

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thought I'd post the lyrics from the entire song, so here goes...

Let It All Out by Relient K

Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out
Remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I will trust you with confidence
Of a man who's never known to fear
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify
The pain it took to get us there

And I'll let it be known
At time I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength


And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known to fear
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify
The pain it took to get us there

And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart
Then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify
The pain it took to get us there

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you

And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart
And made it light

The lines I've bolded and colored are parts of the song that have been speaking to me lately.
Like "Oh inconsistent me/Crying out for consistency" speaks to areas in my walk with God and just that I've realized my inconsistent nature.

In the chorus (actually in the entire song) the speaker is addressing God. It's just talking about how God will sometimes remove things or people from our lives or just flip the script on us completely to draw us closer to Him. Sometimes we can choose to bury ourselves in social activity or choose to listen to Him and enjoy Divine counsel and companionship... but other times we are faced with a non-negotiable wilderness. (For more about this wilderness you can refer to Matthew 4, Exodus 3, Numbers 14:33, Luke 5:16, Matthew 3, Luke 4 and many other areas in the bible where the wilderness or the desert are mentioned.) As far as the chorus goes though, its comforting to me because it reminds me that God's Divine Plan is behind the hurt I'm enduring surrounding my split with Sean, and I will emerge from this struggle and time of introspection with a stronger faith in Him and strengthened sense of purpose... in addition to every thing else God means for me to glean from this time in my life. Jesus is so wonderful and I am so thankful to be apart of His family. I could not do this without Him, SURVIVE that is... especially in the aftermath of a large part of my life falling apart.

I love You.
O God I love You.
Posted on 8.10.2005 at 11:44 PM