Patience?

family guests

My grandparents and one of my aunts are here for my mom's doctoral graduation tomorrow. They spend a lot of time discussing people, especially racial issues. My grandparents are 90 and 95 and grew up in the sticks of Mississippi in the heart of racial discord in America. They are very excited that Obama is president. I am too, but I am not interested in engaging in dialogue about what happened back in November. Yay, he won. Let's keep it moving. I don't give a crap about Palin right now, and I don't care to harp on how smart Obama is. After about an hour of beating the political dead horse, I had to respectly let my grandparents know that I was happy, but tired of talking about Obama. Now they are all in kitchen (my mom included) talking about people and about things they don't know much about. I was in my parents' room upstairs for the past couple of hours taking refuge, lol... now that I'm coming up off of my nap, I'm admittedly grumpy... so I'm just sitting over here in a corner trying to ignore the dialogue and thinking about getting my headphones....wait... I just got them. Ahhhh, listening to Janelle Monae on Pandora.

the job

I'm SO anxious now, wanting to hear about the outcome of my interview on Tuesday. I felt like I was at HOME. I know I can be great in the position and connect with the students. I hope the directors and selection committee felt the same way. Altanta is where I want to be. This institution and working with this insitution is what I want to be doing, it's what I went to school for, how I think God has designed me to assist students. I did my best to say that on my interview in so many words and in so many instances. I said everything but PICK ME! I feel like God wants me to have this position, but at the same time I feel like in thinking so, I set myself up for failure. I'm easily disappointed, and this is major. For me this is like the gateway into the rest of my career! Now I'm on edge. I could get a call as early as tomorrow about this position. How am I going to react if they don't offer it to me?... especially since it went so well?? I would cry probably, but I cry at a lot. I should be thankful that in this day and time (economy) regardless of my qualifications, that I was even invited on campus for a second interview. I asked the Lord, after my 'trainwreck'-like phone interview, to give me a chance in person with these folks, and He did. On Tuesday, I walked in full covering of that blessing. I was so at ease and I was actually MYSELF, not some super-nervous, uptight version of me... but grown, professional, light-hearted me who loves students and loves to SMILE. Thank you Jesus.

I should be content with everything that has come to pass over the past few weeks, so many prayers answered. It's obvious that the Lord has lent me His ear and has taken this moment in my life to show me that He has heard me. He has listened to the silent cries of my heart and how I've cried out to Him. I should be content right now, but all I feel right now is anxious and unsettled. What will be the outcomes of all of this? My life feels like a toss up, but I must rely on the fact that God is in control and that His will will be done. That should give me peace.