::memorial day weekend::
So, this was drama. I created unnecessary drama for myself by going out of town without explicitly telling both of my parents. I could have SWORN I told my mom, but apparently not. This resulted in a super salty dad and a shortened trip... plus household undercurrent drama once I got home and was afraid to bring up the incident (after getting CUSSED out). Then I was even MORE eager to get a suitable job and get out of my parents' house so that I can resume adulthood. Even though this is not a horrible situation (living in the house with my family after 7 years), it can't be like this permanently. The weekend itself was cool when I wasn't worried about how salty my parents were. I went to Warner Robins and Perry, Georgia. My friend and I visited the (free) Museum of Aviation on Robins AFB, Lane Orchard and (lame) Priester's Pecans. We ate at this great southern restaurant called "Green Derby" that I always noticed on my way to and from Atlanta when I lived in Tallahassee. Apparently it's the "best food in Perry,"...well, it tasted like it could very well have been. I like to eat locally when I go out of town.
::encouragement::
Well, I kinda sorta got into some personal foolishness, mayhem and carrying on recently that caused me to pause and evaluate some things and to back down from the ledge I was standing on ready to jump... in terms of personal values and the things I know I want in life, and the things that are healthy and what God wants for me AND for those around me. Then FINALLY I prayed about it and asked God to help me get my mind right and focused back on the prize, instead of being so focused on my current situation and everything I perceived to be wrong and how NOTHING seems to be happening and how I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I feel stagnant and instead of the stuff I got myself into. I prayed about that Wednesday night, and as surely as the worlds rolled from my heart into the heavens, when I woke up and checked my email Thursday morning there was a note in my facebook inbox, from an acquaintance (a DISTANT acquaintance, mind you... like exchange a word or two once in 6 months or so) who had written me a lengthy message about how he could sense God's presence on my spirit and how some people probably miss it and how that has likely been a good thing for me... more importantly it was about how I may not feel like anything is happening in my life right now, but that God is CLEARLY working in me and that I should keep heart and stay the course. There was a lot more, but that was most pertinent. I thought WOW. I'm not on facebook like that anymore to where it may be 100% transparent what I'm going through... or more importantly, what message I need to hear. Because of that, I consider it divinely inspired for my benefit. That has to be one of the quickest answers.
[Here's the message from my friend... added 4.4.10]
"Hey, I just read your post. Just wanted to say that you should be full of good hope and courage and know that what God has promised for you does not come with an expiration date. Just remain faithful to God's plan.
Too often times I believe that we as people, Christains included, do not take the time to point out to others the things that we see in them. I said that to say this, God is still grooming you. I haven't priorly mentioned this to you but you are a rather peculiar person. I say and mean that in a good way. I do recall the first time I noticed you at a BGSA meeting heard you speak I did know something was different about you. I didn't know you then, but I have been allowed to get glimpses of you in how you reveal yourself through your writings. Sure there have been a few conversations in-between too, but mainly through what you write is how I have to come to know more about who you are. I can honestly say that I knew then, what I know now, and that is God has His hands on you. To me, it is an unmistakeable presence. Your Spirit is alive and it radiates. Some may never notice, which perhaps for you is a good thing, other may be drawn to it. Nonetheless, you should stay on the path that you are on. What God hath purposed for you shall manifest itself. Continue you to posture yourself for those things. I know it may appear that anything is not happening for you now, but more than meets the eyes is going on in your life. Take this metaphor, I'm sure as an academic person you can appreciate it. I would say you need to complete your research assignment(s) before moving on to bigger thesis projects. There may be some revisions in the process that you have to do, but once He knows you have everything in order you will be happy with the grade (mate perhaps) you recieve.
Certainly you have accomplished personal goals which serve as milestones in an average person life, but you are not average in any shape of the imagination. Continue to press towards the mark of the higher calling in Christ Jesus. What you seek will be revealed. Pray Gods word back to Him. Not because He doesn't know it, but because you want it to stay in your heart. God's word can not return back to Him void, and He is the ultimate promise keeper. I dare you to do that, you will be amazed with the results.
You're a blessed woman of God, and your virtue is to be desired. Take care and continue to run the race."
~W
Also, once I decided to release the situation I'd gotten myself in, it seemed like something else (that I won't talk about in detail) took a turn for the better. Even though I wanted unsaid situtation to be fruitful, I had begun to let it go... it was sitting out on the curb. Maybe it wasn't wise to consider more than one dream at a time? I don't know, but it's looking better now.... So I'll hold tight and see, prayerfully.
::gatlinburg, tn::
My family and I are in Gatlinburg for my mom's 36th year high school class gathering. I think they do something just about every year, if not multiple times a year. It's been pleasant. This weekend is in STARK contrast to last weekend, since my parents aren't upset with me. That's a good thing since we are in close quarters (the car, same hotel room). The Gatlinburg area is cool I guess. I like the mountains, but maybe this part is a bit too touristy. It feels like south Myrtle Beach, SC (if you know the difference between North and South Myrtle Beach by chance). There seems to be a market here for spur-of-the-moment weddings. Our hotel is catty corner from a wedding chapel and on our way to lunch today we passed about 3 wedding dress/tux rental shops. Also, when we got a map of town upon checking in, the map highlighted the location for marriage licenses, with a red heart.
Since I'm 25, this place is sucking a bit as a family getaway; but this place could work as a romantic getaway (in the winter, too many bugs here right now lol). My love and I could rent one of the nice mountain cabins, lock ourselves in, cook for each other, and live off of love for a few days. Seems like it would be cozy and relaxing, fireplace and warm company, in peaceful quiteness... away from the touristy buzz. True to design, however, I would have to come see about the outlet stores, especially Nine West (even though it wasn't talking about much today). And I would absolutely HAVE to go to Applewood Farmhouse Restaurant for southern comfort food. The apple fritters I had earlier today there (complimentary appetizer served with apple butter and apple julep) were to DIE for... someone's mama (not necessarily yours or mine though) needed to be slapped. They were just that good.... it's too bad my stomach wouldn't let me eat my weight in them. But yeah, I'd have to go there and also to the winery next door for some apple wine, to share with my love of course.
We leave Gatlingburg in a few hours.... I'm ready to not be living in a hotel room anymore and in the same room as my parents. Maybe a job will be waiting for me when I get back to Georgia.
No comments:
Post a Comment