It's not yet time to celebrate, but I believe that I shall by the end of today... provided I am able to stay awake the whole time. My sleep schedule is in a dire state of confusion, just like my room... Yesterday around this time I finally finished that stupid paper I've been complaining about and then I went directly to church for the 8am service. I hadn't been in two weeks (yes, that means I did in fact miss the Easter service). I'm glad I went, but maybe I was a bit disappointed that the sermon was mostly about getting involved in ministry. I guess that is one of my bigger problems tho, I'm not rooted anywhere.
Oh yeah, part of me feels like it's spinning out of control and I'm going to mess up some lives (including mine) if I don't look to God for a grip. I feel like the Holy Spirit has been whispering some good news to me about my guy status, but every time, I push it away because I'm afraid that what I think I'm hearing is only a reflection of my desires. And how can I hear anything with the pure mayhem I've bred? Why would God even want to tell me anything good? I keep running away, away from everything I know to be true. At church yesterday I bought David Crowder Band's "A Collision" CD. I believe there must be healing there or something I'm supposed to hear because there was no way I could just NOT buy it. So it's actually 7:35am now and I'm in the library listening to 'Rescue is Coming' by David Crowder. I love this song. Tonight was my first time listening to it, but it hits home for me and the music is just so endearing and it makes you think. It's definitely good journal entry writing music, but most of their music is. Perhaps that's why I like their stuff so much.
I'm delirious... stayed up all night, stayin up all of today (hopefully)... it's shower time, plus I need to move my car before I get a ticket.
ciao.
Posted on 5.1.2006 at 7:08 AM
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