The trip that wouldn't end...

I am so ready to leave Orlando, or Kissimmee or wherever we are right now. I won't do this again... sign up for a week-long trip to anywhere that I don't have any control over when we leave and I know that the conditions are less-than-suitable for me. I've been trying to be an adult about this... I swear I have. I've put on a good face, but really I don't want to freaking be here anymore. I was excited that we were leaving on Friday when she first said that, but then she was like, "It's Saturday again." I'm sorry but I would like to redeem my vacation and spend some quality time with someone boo-like. I'm tired of being carted around like some child tagging along with the couple. You're my best friend for life and I love you, but this taps into a weakness that I'm not strong enough to overcome yet, and I think that I did quite well for the 6 days that have passed so far. I can't take anymore though, and I don't need for this trip to interfere with my only opportunity to be "boo-ed" up myself. I mean damn, I couldn't even meet anyone on this trip. I'm so frustrated. I've been praying about this, doing my "Singleness" bible study. There doesn't seem to be any deliverance. I'm in the internet cafe right now, but when my 30 mins are up, I really don't want to go back. I'm tired of being reminded 24/7 that I'm freaking single and that I can't meet anyone worthwhile. I hate myself because I want to be happy for y'all and part of me is... but part of me, a large part, is just hurting because I feel hopeless. I don't trust God or anyone to lead to my happiness. I'm just assed out, facing the world nearly alone. It's nice that I have my family (and sometimes a friend or two) to help me sometimes, but what am I going to do when they're not around. I have to pursue my dreams alone.... well that's what I'm preparing for, being all by my damn self.