It was nice waking up beside you two consecutive mornings, but did you want me there or was I just there in the way? I can never really tell with you because you're so nice, and I don't want to impose, so I'll fade into the background. I'd rather be unavailable to you than annoying. Even so, it was nice, and I'd like to wake up beside you again. Supposing there was something stirring in the mix here would you even speak on it? I know not to speak up because I don't want the weirdness that is sure to come and a decision to make that has to be quite calculated seeing as how I'm moving away in 2 months, sooner than that if I live at home for my last month in GA, which I may do if I don't work during that time. The thought of being around you unwanted makes me sick to my stomach, but I won't ask you. I hope that you would tell me.
I could have told you that I was a little upset at you about taking me to the 'club' the other night, but I'm not one to try and keep you from doing something you feel like you need to do. We all have our vices, and you think I'm cool (I'm guessing) so you didn't think I'd mind if we went, but after I thought about it more I was actually disturbed that you'd think it was appropriate to take me there. Still I couldn't be maaaad... just more panicked at the idea that I'd be going to a strip club. Although I had toyed with the idea of going a few times before (and you may have known that), being confronted with the situation of actually going I was kind of scared and that's why I tuned out and listened to my headset... also praying. Initially I was going to sit in the car, but once we reached the place I rethought that idea because the place looked so sketchy in the dark. I didn't want to threaten to sit in the car and make you feel bad about going into the club and possibly decide to not go. I don't like to manipulate people. If you didn't think anything was wrong with it why should I make you feel bad about it in the process? But don't you know how I feel about that kind of stuff? I thought you did, but maybe it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Maybe you would have let me stay in the car and not felt bad about it... I would like to think not, but you were determined as hell to go to that place and it worried me.
I like the idea of taking care of you and helping you turn your house into a home, and I'm pleased that you are willing to let me help you... even though you put up a fight about necessary expenses sometimes, well... a lot. You'd be perfect to counteract my shopaholic tendencies and I'd balance out your tendency to be, well, cheap at times. My family and best friend think you're quite awesome. I don't think you're half bad either. It was nice waking up next to you.
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