Closure

She said I should pray for closure...

I've probably been advised to do so many times during the course of this year, but it still never dawned on me until I talked to my homegirl tonight. I need to pray for closure. If a wound never closes it could continue to get agitated, which it has all year. I'm surprised I've survived the struggle so long. It's time to be done with this. I must walk into the land that awaits me on the other side of this wall.

My husband could be waiting in the wings while I remain to hold on to this dead situation with my ex. Or even better, I know Jesus is waiting, knocking on the door to my heart. Unfortunately I've already bronzed it and wrapped it in a shroud. I don't want to use it anymore because it hurts and leads to situations like these. There is no excuse that I should not have closure after these months, yet here I am.

I'm pushing Nate (and the black hole surrounding him) into the shadows where he belongs.... and out of my life. I have greatness inside of me waiting to be unleashed. God means for me to have greatness in my life, and Nate doesn't qualify. The position of significant other is meant to be filled with progressively better prospects. How dare I step backward, way backward?