So today I log on to see if my FSU application is complete and I see that they have received my GSU transcript, but not my GT transcript and I sent them in the same envelope so I had to call up there... After being on hold for a long time, they tracked my transcript down...along with GRE scores (even though they aren't official). I don't know why I let myself worry so much as if God hasn't had my back so far. Even when I sometimes feel like He's 'messed me up' I can look back on it later and see part of the purpose. I mean, I'm going through things right now...those of you who know me know that... and honestly I do feel a little neglected in one facet of my life, but in the back of my heart I still feel on some levels like He's rooting for me and has things all under control. I guess my primary frustration with that is God's timing, eternally it's perfect but from a human standpoint it seems like forever and I wonder when my happily ever after is going to begin but then I am reminding that it started when Jesus was on the cross and said "It is finished!" That exclamation became the period at the end of my sentence, the death sentence I was doomed to serve and all there was left for me to do was believe it, accept it, and walk in it. But still... frustration is real, and so is lonliness and discontent, so I've been praying to be content with where I am in life and with who God is. I want to be ok with the idea that God is all I have, because in reality, He is. He's the only entity that I can't shake or lose, or that won't be shady and disppear on me, or get so mad at me that He drops out of the picture or hold a grudge... though I understand that I can do things to be distanced from Him, He'll never drop out of the picture. He can handle the realness, the real imperfect me without running off like a scared bunny. That's comforting, but is that enough?
Posted on 1.12.2007 at 1:53 PM
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