Suga Suga

"You got me lifted shifted higher than the ceiling,
And oo wee its the ultimate feeling.
You got me lifted feelin so gifted.
Suga how you get so fly?
Suga Suga how you get so fly?"

That's from my song of the moment (as in right now, today) "Suga Suga" by Baby Bash. How has Crystal spent the last hmmm 5 hrs? With the exception of going to Woodies, I've been doing my hair and otherwise downloading music and watchin videos on Launch.com. Don't worry, I'll pay for it later definitely, but later is not now and here I am writing in this journal.

Today was merely a continuation of the patch of gray that has become my life recently, but I know things will get better. If the sun came out, it would certainly help though. Each day it becomes a little harder to smile and all I want to do is stay up in my room and sleep mostly. I guess the best way to look at this whole trial is as a bonding experience for me and Jesus. A few weeks ago at church we talked about God's Sustaining Grace and two of the verses that were mentioned are helping me get through my issues right now:

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever."
2 Corinthians 4:18

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me,'My Grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.'" 2Corinthians 12:8-9

So basically I learned that we are closer to God when we are at our weakest because we lose our false sense of security and realize "oh yeah, I still need Him." I also have to put what I'm going through in perspective, the world is certainly not ending but I guess sometimes it seems as though my world is. I think that recently I have been searching for a new way to relate to my environment because the old ways don't hold up anymore. I'm a completely different person. I see my situation as an opportunity to place more of a focus on God, and I know this won't last forever (sometimes it's easy to forget that tho).

Enough about what's wrong in my life, lets switch it up a little. I finally had some fried chicken after months without it. Popeyes came through yesterday :) I can't believe the semester is almost over. I need to be working a little harder on my research for this paper AND I have a group project/presentation due in Spanish next Monday not to mention the 4 finals I need to study for and the Individual presentation I need to prepare for Spanish. That sounds like a lot right? Well maybe not, I'm not even going to act like school has me stressed. I'm a STaC major and we actually do work, but I'd rather do liberal arts-ish stuff any day before I try to solve an equation. All of my finals are going to be okay except for Linguistics and I have to ace it to make a B in the class, so I just need to make things happen. We'll see though...

Enough babbling, I'm going pry myself away from the computer now so I can stop with this boringness. Maybe I will have something interesting to say the next time I decide to write :)
Posted on 11.18.2003 at 6:49 PM