The more time that passes, the more I feel like a freak. Not a freak in the sexual way, but a spiritual freak. I am feeling more and more alone in my thoughts, beliefs, feelings about things. I feel free, but I get frustrated because I see the confused look in people's eyes... or that look like "this chick is crazy." No one is really trying to grapple with these concepts that have been adopted by my heart. At any rate, if you ask me what I think, I will tell you... and even if you don't ask, I might still tell you.
I'm tired of being party to oversimplified arguments and ways of thinking. Hardly anyone is GETTING it. Are so few people plugged in and capable of seeing what I've been shown? I know it's up to Him to reveal these things, but it's really uncomfortable being involved with comfortably status quo people. I'm the weirdo. I know. No one thinks like me, says the things that I say or has my aversions to things that are such popular cornerstones of our culture. It's not that I dare to be different, I have no choice. For a long time I tried to do the same things as everyone else and realized it wasn't fulfilling or completely lost a taste for it.
Maybe I haven't completely tasted and seen that the Lord is good... but I have certainly developed an anti-taste for many of the things that I know he hates.
That places me on an island most of the time... alone in a crowded room.
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