5 years ago today I was a Senior in high school who knew absolutely nothing about being adult and living on her own... and now I'm a first year graduate student who's seeing a little clearer into the adult thing and realizes that she's not feeling it.
A lot is going on with me right now... I guess that's why I don't write much recently.
First and foremost, I'm drowning in grad school work... not that I don't have the time to complete it all, it's just that I can't seem to find any grounding, concentration, self-discipline, or any of those things one needs to suceed in a course of study that requires a ridiculous amount of reading. O yeah, did I mention that I hate to read? I prefer books on tape, but I doubt that my textbooks and random Psych articles are. To say that I need balance is an understatement. I'm not getting work done on the work end or the school work end and commuting is tiring and I just want to lie down when I get home. My parents are like, that's being adult, it doesn't get less complicated than that. Now I'm rethinking the whole thing. American adults work entirely too much. What is life? Why don't most working American adults have much of one outside of their occupation? I'm moving to France (not really, but I like the idea of a shorter work week). Life is short. I would like a LOT more time to enjoy it.
Sadly, I'm losing a good friend of mine and I don't know if I'll get that person back when it's all said and done. It's worth being patient though and seeing what happens, but I miss them already. Who knows, maybe it was one of those situations where God only allows you to be in that person's life (and vice versa) temporarily for whatever reason. I am understanding more now that sometimes ( a lot of times) you have to let go and let be, so that's what I'm doing.
I'm serving in the ministry at my church in two specific areas that are related. That hasn't jumped off completely just yet. That's a blessing though because I don't know how to manage what I am actively doing, let alone the whole aspect of eating, sleeping and exercising. I hate feeling like I'm just all over the place. I have too much going on, and I can't pin myself down to get anything done. It's scary actually. I've been praying on it though, and I know it will get better because my attitude is changing.
Well, I left Augusta around 3:30am (a few hrs ago) to get to ATL early enough to avoid traffic and ensure that I was at work on time... which means that I had about an hour and a half of sleep, so I'm going to take a cat nap at my desk until the office opens officially at 8am... then it's back on the grind. Man, what's all of this for? I just want to go play outside...
Posted on 9.11.2006 at 6:27 AM
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