epidemic

2 girls I know are recently enagaged, that doesn't account for the other 2. I am very happy for them, it just seems like engagement is becoming an epidemic in one of the social circles that i'm in. it's making me feel like there's something i'm not doing or whatever, like i need to get with the program. i know this is not true though. just like it's ok to consider marriage and things at my age, it's also ok to not be in that place yet. that's where i am, not that place and it's cool. i think i still have a year or two (at least) left of going home to visit and being mommy and daddy's oldest girl and Gabby's available big sis. i wouldn't be too happy if me and my sisters couldn't spend quality sleepover girltime. i mean i know it wouldn't be impossible to do while being married, but stil. i'm not ready yet to yield over the other side of my bed or say "goodbye" to my family. i feel comfortable at least that realize that. besides, you only get to be a girl once in your life and as soon as you get married you're not really "girl" anymore. sure you can be young and girlish, but the reality of woman and adulthood sink in. i'm not ready to become one with another being. i probably should get used to the responsibility i have now before i share it with someone and add to the duties i already have at this age. as eager as i am to get engaged, married and start a family, i also know myself and that i'm not ready. i'd cry at thought of my Dad(s) giving me away and waving goodbye to my family. my family is REALLY important to me. I think i'll hold on to my identity as daughter/sister as long as i can for now. i'm in a cozy place.

Posted on 6.19.2005 at 12:31 AM